Ten basics to perform a Suicide Girl’s set on a third world country.

Texto. Juan Sebastián Villa Ortiz.

Ilustración. Carlina rozo.

Being a Pin Up counter culture model has a lot less glamour than anyone would think. Mindi Suicide, good friend of this magazine, asked me once to help her get a good location for a photoshoot. After some cooler and safer locations that slipped our grasp, it was necessary to chose the backcountry roads behind the Mental Hospital of Bello.

One must learn from it’s mistakes. And even though we can’t publish pics from this episode due to Mindi’s contract, we leave you with our recommendations to make nude pics in a nation full of flirty brickies and sunday problems.

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1° If you want to make a photo-shoot in in a place with public access (the woods, abandoned structures, the highway) DON’T.

Seek, at all costs, for a private place where you can control who peeps. Avoid dealing with offended turned on’s, loss of time and uncomfortabilities for the whole crew. No one’s gonna know whether the tree, the pond or the post apocalyptic ruins where the inked gal with the fuckmelikeit’smankind’slastday’s face is a borin private location.

But if you definitely have to use a space where any retard can walk by, keep reading.

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2° Make previous intelligence work.

Don’t trust right away on someone’s claims (even if you trust him) on how awesome, private and immaculate this site is. Take a hike on the area or send someone who knows what’s needed for a photoshoot like this.

Make account for the terrain, the weather and the people. Not just the ones who’ll come along, also those who wander near.

 

 

 

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3° Get a local guide.

If it worked for Alexander the great and Hitler, Why not for you? Bring someone with you from around who knows how to get there, where to get what you may need without going far; and specially someone who knows how things are with the locals. If you’re colombian you know exactly what i’m talking about.

 

 

 

44° Bring guys you trust with you.

Let’s be upfront. You’re gonna be aiding in getting nude pics from a girl who’s as hot as hell. And
whoever walks by will see the naked truth. Make sure you bring along a couple buds that combine the presence of a mob hitman with a eunuch’s respect for women (If you know Xena or O-Ren Ishii, problem solved).

They are there to give the model a sense of security and comfort.

 

 

 

 

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5° Bring Bug Spray.

Bring bug spray. Period. Do you need an explanation?

Someone among you guys is gonna have it all out there for mosquitos to chunk on. One intimate bug-bite may not be precisely traumatic, but it definitely is fucking uncomfortable.

 

 

 

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6° Bring adequate gear.

Arm yourselves with lightweight, sturdy, and as waterproof as possible gear. Don’t forget to carry water and food. Things may go wrong and you may need to delete the valuable photographs to document the Blair Witch.

 

 

 

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7° Get there in comfy garments (specially the SG).

Most places that match the attractive of a Pin Up set (Privacy / beauty / relevance for the set theme) require to hike backcountry roads, go through bar-wire fences, jump over railings and through streams. High heels go inside the Boy Scout backpack, Clad for battle. When your destination is reached, swipe the sweat, get the water off your boots and create some fantasy.

 

 

 

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8° Keep clothing near.

Not just in case some underaged kids happen to get there and you need to cover the inked venus. If you need to stop everything and bug out, abort mission and GTFO ASAP. Being numbers on statistics is never a good thing.

 

 

 

 

 

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9° Prepare for the worse (Including peeping toms).

Assume it’ll rain, there’ll be a mosquito convention, you’ll suffer some casualties on the way there, and both a nun convent and a flock of prepuber boys will be around your set at the time the pictures are being taken. Think about what you would need to do if one of your guys falls ill of indigestion and needs to evacuate.

 

 

 

 

1010° Address the situation with humour.

Few things will go down as you wish. There will be too much sunlight, poor lighting, it’ll take longer than you planned to get to the set, you’ll extraviate the sammiches, forensics will be processing a corpse.

Adapt, laugh of whatever happens and overcome the situation. Make a check-list of what you expect to gaze on the way there, such as hippies singing to the blooming grass, a picnic with pot and couples fucking in tents and maybe a satanic ritual. And if after all that you still get unwanted public, ask them to remain quiet and establish a safe and “comfortable” distance. Do not allow who’s watching to get close, but if you can ask them to Like the Facebook page of the dear Suicide Girl.